[This cover proclaims this handy guide to picking up females of all species is the work of the self-proclaimed "Sexiest Granok Alive On Nexus" - the "one and only KRAG STUDROK!"]

ALWAYS. BE. CLOSING.

Ya think Krag Studrok always rocked this hard? Well, ya'd be right, pal! And that's 'cause your buddy Krag Studrok is ALWAYS closin' the deal! Other guys? They start slow. Get to know a lady. Show an interest. Pretend to listen to whatever. NOT THE 'ROK! The first words outta my mouth every time I meet a woman what ain't met the 'ROK is "You and me, doll. Whaddaya say?"

And I say it exactly like that. Ya get me? Ya gotta let 'em know ya got nothin' else on your mind but THEM.

The ladies? They don't care if ya listen or not. They don't come up to KRAG STUDROK for the conversation, know what I'm sayin'?

[As the guide continues, it becomes clear that it is not a collection of tips so much as a long, poorly punctuated self-hagiography of the author.]

[...]