[A well-worn vintage issue of the widely read spacer's favorite. Contents not recommended for small children, grown adults, or seniors - not that that's ever stopped the curious from opening the book. It easily falls open to the letters page.]

SCRIBBLIN'S 'N' MISSIVES PAGE

Dear MQToRD,

Longtime reader, first-time correspondent. Been a fan o' yer fine publication goin' on thirteen years, I make it, and naturally me first stop in each issue be yon Scribblin's 'n' Missives. Yet despite me fondness for the stories contained therein, I never thought the followin' might happen to an Eeklu like me.

'Twere the beginnin' of another cruise, pillagin', lootin', and generally inducin' mayhem out on the Fringe. Prizes'd been gettin' a might thin, as it were, and me crew were growin' surly when we heard the ping of an expensive-soundin' emergency beacon. We replied usin' one o' the diplobots we keep 'round for such purposes - somethin' about me way with words tips lubbers off, it seems - and couldn't believe our luck when we got a holo-transmission in reply.

Three o' the comeliest beauties it were ever me pleasure to lay me peepers on flickered to life on the viewscreen, wearin' clothin' that made a high-cut, clingin' mockery o' the term space suits.

[To the surprise of the author, but most certainly not the average reader, the ensuing erotic adventures take several questionable turns before the female crew of the Marauder's "prize" reveal themselves to be pirates as well. The "Ladies Luck," as they collectively call themselves, slaughter the Marauder crew, leaving only the letter-writer alive on an escape pod after another romp that, at this point, feels tacked-on.]